


Things I Said During Top Chef.

by Prettything_uglylie



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Coming of Age, F/F, Friendship/Love, Gay JJ (Outer Banks), Gen, Lesbian Kiara (Outer Banks), M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, This is trashy, but also i love Top Chef and them, my headcanons for them change all the time, thanksss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24501694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettything_uglylie/pseuds/Prettything_uglylie
Summary: "So, you're a lesbian?"He starts their new conversation, still passing the joint between his forefinger and middle to her with his eyes glued to his feet rather than the television and she stares at him for a moment.
Relationships: JJ & Kiara (Outer Banks), JJ Maybank & Kiara Carrera, JJ Maybank/Pope Heyward, JJ/Pope (Outer Banks), Sarah Cameron/Kiara
Comments: 5
Kudos: 84





	Things I Said During Top Chef.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was watching Top Chef: Canada finale last night as I was writing for them and this thought appeared in my head so enjoy this super short and quickly written drabble! I hope you like it!

"So, you're a lesbian?" 

He starts their new conversation, still passing the joint between his forefinger and middle to her with his eyes glued to his feet rather than the television and she stares at him for a moment. She takes in the way the light balances off of the TV onto his features. She feels the slight urge to get mad at him for the way he still glows in the light of people's features on the frame to reflect in his own saltwater blue eyes and his gentler face - he had been a major reason for her sexuality confusion with her wondering if their closeness were her having proper romantic feelings for him rather than the platonic closeness she now knows it to be. 

He had been confusing for her though, and it had been a long time for her and a talk from Sarah, where she had said _you know you're still allowed to actually **like** men as a lesbian, right? _and when she had asked again, Sarah had sighed and said 'they're your friends, you are allowed to like who they are, just because it isn't romantic or sexual doesn't mean you don't like them.' and it had changed her perspective. 

She had become a little more open to all of the boys and sometimes more keen to JJ's antics when she had known that the feelings of confusion and weirdness she had felt for him had not been his fault. 

She had spent so long thinking she had feelings for him that knowing they were simply platonic was a huge breath of fresh air. 

She clutches the joint from him. 

Her breath comes out a shaky sigh, "Yeah, I am." 

His face twists in what could only be considered confusion before he asks gently, "But you kissed John B.?" 

And she had not quite expected that but after nights of figuring it out herself, including words like 'comphet' and 'internalized lesbophobia' as she sobbed and trying to feel normal, she had solidified a description for it. 

She just hadn't expected him to ask about it. 

When she had found the words for it, she had been keen to pace the words on then. Kiara had just wanted to explain to him the things she felt - not to prove his validity but by his gaze and his broken tendencies, he needed the words she had found herself finding to explain it. 

She thinks he needs to hear _it's okay_ most of all. 

"He kissed _me_ ," she points out first before continuing, "and I realized that for so long I wanted to like guys, so I convinced myself I liked guys. Kissing John B. was weird because I loved him but not like that." 

JJ is silent but his silence speaks louder than he could have. 

His eyes glance towards the TV, looking as though he is finished saying what he does but she is too busy watching him to realize what he sees until he jumps and starts yelling, 

"Top Chef said GAY RIGHTS!"

And that had been the last thing she had expected him to say, ready to validate either herself to him or to comfort him through his own struggles but she had not expected him to say that. 

"What?" She asks, beyond confused and he starts to point to the program enthusiastically. 

They had brought in Canada's Top Chef to watch it casually in the background and they had been idly watching it, sparing commentary and including JJ sarcastically saying that he'd let Imrun fuck him, though she had noticed his eyes seeming genuinely thoughtful and his shifting was telling a story that sarcasm was far from the way to describe the husk in his voice. 

She had understood it in a way - hers had started with "respecting badass woman" before she realized that she had been attracted to them. 

JJ explains gently, "We just watched Francis kiss his "friend" but Stephanie didn't kiss her boyfriend! That's gay rights!" 

She takes in his eager eyes, lit up with his own specific brand of manic glee and she feels simple fondness splay across her chest, warming her and making her feel light and heady. 

It may be the weed, but she doesn't think so. 

Her tone must sound agonizingly fond when she says it, judging by how she feels for her best friend, "You've become compelled by Top Chef: Canada." 

"This is your fault." He says and it holds more contempt than it should - it's the same accusation that fell from her own mind when she realized that feelings for JJ weren't real either. She thinks, not for the first time but usually the other is encompassed by bruises when the thought skirts her mind, _oh, honey -_ "You've made us stream it and now - now, I am invested." 

He leans into her suddenly and she only half believes that it is his need for reassuring contact from kind sources that he gets like when JJ smokes too much weed, or when he's in the gentle mood. 

"You kissed Pope." His voice is quiet when he asks the question, alarming in every way and sounding a bit upset. _Pope_ \- of course, it's Pope, he went _to jail_ _for him_ for the love of God. She always sort of assumed it. 

It's in his pale blue eyes that act as more storm than more people can believe are possible, the calmest storm, a sweet tempest, really. 

He looks at Pope like he is the one thing that JJ never wanted to destroy, that JJ would die before hurting but that he also wanted to learn to speak the love language that he was never taught - she had once thought that the blond boy's tongue may not even know how to curl over the consonants. 

"I did." 

He doesn't say that he wants to before he starts crying but she knows. She knows that he wants to kiss Pope, has seen the surfer's eyes scan over Pope's lips, and has seen how tactile he gets with him. 

He curls in on himself, pulling his legs up to bury his face in and his sobs are gentle, even as she rubs his back gently. She doesn't say anything, doesn't have to before she just pulls him in to cradle him in her arms. 

She offers him reassuring words, not quite proper ones but ones that had brought her comfort when she was struggling with this. 

When he calms slightly, his voice is hazy as he asks in sheer disbelief with tears still brimming his light ocean eyes, "Francis has a fucking girlfriend!?!?" 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! I wrote it really quickly but I like them a lot soooo here we go. Kudos and comments are super appreciated!


End file.
